Is There An App For That?

I have no book review for this week, mainly because I was finishing the junky fever dream that is Naked Lunch but also because I was doing my best to finish up a photography assignment. I suppose I could do a write up on Naked Lunch, but curling up into a ball and whimpering at the hands of a book just doesn’t translate into good review material for me. Besides, better and smarter people have blah blah blah, etc.

Last week was sort of a wash for the writing. Call it a case of spring ennui, but it seemed like every time I started working on a project I managed to fall down a rabbit hole of Netflix and vidya games. (Oh WoW, thou cruel, cruel mistress.) I tried. I just kept face planting. Part of the problem was just being stretched too thin for too long. Part of it was just a total backfire from pushing myself to work through sickness. Lesson learned. The piper will be paid, sooner or later. I guess it’s just best to pay the dirty SOB sooner, lest I fall into a Nurse Jacky binge.

On a positive note, I have been doing really well with the whole fitness project. Regular runs and strength training and even keeping a food diary in a goddamn app. Look at me being all fancy. The food diary, well, holy hell was that a comeuppance. I tend to forget how much crap I shovel into my feed hole when I’m not paying attention. The delusion that I’m eating healthy is super easy to maintain because, well, my meals are usually pretty spot on. Of course, that only counts for so much if I’m undermining myself with a nightly pint and some sweet, sweet Cheetos.

The problem is, and this is the bite, I realized I was snacking so much because it’s one of the only things I can do at work to stave off the soul crushing boredom and irritation. The thing about proof reading for a living is that functionally, you are being paid to clean up other people’s mistakes. Mistakes are part and parcel of being human. There’s no way around them, but a lot of the mistakes I see really fall into the category of laziness and/or stupidity, and that’s not so easy to stomach. Especially when the people making the sloppy mistakes are paid so very much more than I am. It invites a near constant state of mild annoyance, and I tend to find a release for that in sarcasm and salty snacks.

I don’t know what the answer to this dilemma is, but it can’t be a steady stream of Doritos. It just can’t. My waistline can’t handle it. Is there an app for controlling the desire to put your face through a computer screen? I don't know, but there should be.