Sunday, December 27, 2015

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like F*&$ This

For the past two months, it seems like I've been trying to do my best impersonation of a force-fed Christmas goose or perhaps a veal calf. Between the sedentary, candy fueled marathon of Nanowrimo, the post Nano blahs, and two major eating holidays, and a general aversion to going out in the dark and the bullshit winter weather, my pants zippers are just about screaming to be put out of their misery.

Like most of the lemmings, I have officially hit the end of my endurance for all manner of things that end with "olly," so of course I started back into running yesterday. And I can say that after nearly two full months of doing fuck-all, running two days back to back in the cold and the rain has all my bits hurting anew. In fact, I may have discovered entirely new bits to hurt. It makes me want to curl up around a computer and binge watch Netflix while I suck on my thumb.

My dog, on the other hand, couldn't be more thrilled.


It's not all a bunch of cold, damp bullshit. Running is the best thing out there that doesn't come in a bottle for boosting my super sunny disposition. The more I run, the longer my "fuck this" tether gets, and my "fuck this" tether has gotten really, really short of late. Short enough that I actually set my alarm clock for four a.m., an hour that shouldn't exist anywhere, so I could get a run in before the work week. That was before I found out we're supposed to be getting an all day ice storm starting in the wee hours.

Because of course we are.