Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Non Medical Medical Expenses And Other Unicorns

OK, before you read this and freak the fuck out, my husband is OK. Spoiler alert: He was not actually having a heart attack a few months ago. He is about as well as a middle aged man who smokes and tries to convince me that Entenmann's donuts are a vegetable can be. Surprisingly, this is far more well than I would credit.

It didn't feel like it at the time. At the time it was Sunday evening, and he was experiencing chest pains. The doctor's office was closed. And like a reasonable grown ass man, he decided to go to the Christing ER to make sure he wasn't about to make me a widow.

Did he do this because he's afraid I'd dig him up and kill him twice again for doing this to me?

No comment.

Fast forward to this Saturday when we get the statement from his health insurance denying his claim.

Apparently, according to my husband's health insurance,  going to the ER because you were experiencing many of the symptoms of a heart attack while driving does not constitute a medical expense and is therefore is not covered.

Now I could understand if he tried to get the ER to bill for an emergency beergutectomy. I'd probably question the medical necessity of that as well, but chest pains, jaw pain, dizziness and shortness of breath seem, pardon me because I didn't go to med school, sort of fucking serious and probably something you shouldn't ignore.

Thank you for clarifying that for me, health insurance. Heaven forefend anyone accuse you of just trying to step out on your obligations, probably so your CEO can justify giving himself another bonus (ex wives and hookers don't pay for themselves, y'all) I trust my health insurance provider's morality implicitly.

And I also sell bridges for a living.

Perhaps you might be interested in this one:

Easy payments of $99.99! It's a steal!

Isn't it great that we don't live in a socialist hell such as Great Britain and Canada, where citizens don't have to play "Is this pain going to kill me if I ignore it" roulette?

It's awesome.


Fuck yeah.
Monday we got a check from his health insurance flex plan. It covers most of the ER bill. So I guess not covered means not not coveredish.
I don't know.
Pardon me while I beat my head against a brick wall.

Tuesday, October 27, 2015


Seriously guys, if human babies were anywhere near this cute, I would have like a dozen easy. You wouldn't think that eating a berry in super slow motion would make anything cuter, but it does. Exponentially.

Frankly, I think the whole slower = cuter thing is what my cat relies on because, to be quite blunt, he can be quite the little turd burger. We're talking about an animal who spent this Sunday afternoon alternating between trying to get me to feed him by licking any part of my body I left undefended (he had a full bowl of food that he did not deign to touch) and trying to tip over my glass of water (he had both the dog's bowl and his to choose from, but water spilled from my cup is always better). The fact that he does a passable impersonation of a slow loris; however, seems to cover all sins in my book.
If he had a shell, I think he might just be able to get away with murder.

Please nobody tell him. I want the dog to live.

Thursday, October 22, 2015

Opening Salvo

OK, so this isn't so much a new blog as a change in venue. For a while, I've been blogging over at the Tumbr, which has plenty of lovely pictures to scroll through. That's the problem. The pictures.

You see, I'm fairly distractible, (No! Gasp!) and all of the lovely pictures tend to take me off in about ten dozen different tangents, which is fun but not so great for the old productivity. Also Tumblr isn't so great for the almost exclusively text-based blogs. So there's that.

Hopefully, this new platform will be a little more conducive to writing, but I'm not going to kid you. This blog is named The Shiny Squirrel Diaries for a goddamn good reason. I like doing new things. Recently, I have taken up computer coding, etching, and Spanish. Next month, I'll be participating in NaNoWriMo. I'm in a book club, and I game twice a month. And I'm a distance runner.

Because I live by the philosophy that sleep is for assholes, apparently. That's why.

Consistency isn't exactly my strong suit. Or it would be if I could get JK Rowling to send me one of those goddamn time necklaces.

But I'm going to try.

Because writing is fun, and because I like inflicting my crazy on the rest of the world.

You're welcome.