Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Non Medical Medical Expenses And Other Unicorns

OK, before you read this and freak the fuck out, my husband is OK. Spoiler alert: He was not actually having a heart attack a few months ago. He is about as well as a middle aged man who smokes and tries to convince me that Entenmann's donuts are a vegetable can be. Surprisingly, this is far more well than I would credit.

It didn't feel like it at the time. At the time it was Sunday evening, and he was experiencing chest pains. The doctor's office was closed. And like a reasonable grown ass man, he decided to go to the Christing ER to make sure he wasn't about to make me a widow.

Did he do this because he's afraid I'd dig him up and kill him twice again for doing this to me?

No comment.

Fast forward to this Saturday when we get the statement from his health insurance denying his claim.

Apparently, according to my husband's health insurance,  going to the ER because you were experiencing many of the symptoms of a heart attack while driving does not constitute a medical expense and is therefore is not covered.

Now I could understand if he tried to get the ER to bill for an emergency beergutectomy. I'd probably question the medical necessity of that as well, but chest pains, jaw pain, dizziness and shortness of breath seem, pardon me because I didn't go to med school, sort of fucking serious and probably something you shouldn't ignore.

Thank you for clarifying that for me, health insurance. Heaven forefend anyone accuse you of just trying to step out on your obligations, probably so your CEO can justify giving himself another bonus (ex wives and hookers don't pay for themselves, y'all) I trust my health insurance provider's morality implicitly.

And I also sell bridges for a living.

Perhaps you might be interested in this one:

Easy payments of $99.99! It's a steal!

Isn't it great that we don't live in a socialist hell such as Great Britain and Canada, where citizens don't have to play "Is this pain going to kill me if I ignore it" roulette?

It's awesome.


Fuck yeah.
Monday we got a check from his health insurance flex plan. It covers most of the ER bill. So I guess not covered means not not coveredish.
I don't know.
Pardon me while I beat my head against a brick wall.